Guest asks to split a glass of water, no ice
Guest asks if refills are free and asks for 2 straws one coke
Guest needs a doggie bag for the left-over bread they didn't eat
Guest wonders if you have samples of wine, like they have samples of ice cream at Baskin Robbins
Asks, "Is this all you get?" each time a new course is brought to the table
Asks, "Are refills free?" When the answer is yes, sucks down the beverage right in front of you, then asks for another
Guest says, "I'm only having a cup of soup, I'm saving room for dessert."
Wants to know if it's OK to split a beverage and/or entree amoung five people
The adults at the table are discussing in great length the variety on the kids menu
Guest asks for a doggie bag, and it's a buffet
Guest wonders if you could "Super-Size" their twenty-five dollar entree
Wants a free cake to celebrate Uncle Jimmy's parole
Wonders if they provide spittoones as well as ashtrays in the smoking section
Guest says their doctor put them on a strict diet--No entrees over six dollars
Wonders if they get a discount for using their own silverware
The less teeth in the mouth...the less money on the table
They give you a $100 bill, and they look like that might be their entire paycheck
The customer begins to empty his penny loafers
The guest is seated in your station with a Gift Certificate proudly sticking out of their shirt pocket
They refuse to remove their "Bass Pro Shops" ball cap throughout the dinner
When it is time to pay the bill, the guests one by one leave for the restrooms until their is only one left to settle the tab
The more praise the waiter gets, the less money they recieve
The older the payer of the bill, the less the tip
You hear the guests talking about how they used to wait tables, and they can't believe how awful the service in restaurants has gotten these days
You see them shuffling credit cards saying, "That one won't clear, that one won't clear..."
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